But this is a podcast for when you want to stop feeling guilty that you’re not living your best life now. And now I get it. And she said, I just wanted someone to talk to. Dr. Michele Harper Shares More Than A Decade Of ER Experience In New Memoir Jul 04, 2020 at 4:58 am By. Dr. Michele Harper, THE BEAUTY IN BREAKING. : Yeah. And when I did ask her, she revealed that she was raped in the military by not only her colleague, a fellow soldier, but also her supervisor. Read By: Nicole Lewis. Elise, Wyett, P-you there? Thank you. : No, no don’t be the Canary, be my thermometer. Well, I listen to her, I felt it was important to listen to her and I said to her what they did to you was wrong, it was just wrong. We’re not always celebrating a zen like mindset. : I do. It sounds like you like part of the gift that you’re determined to give, regardless of the circumstances, is something like I see you. where, you know, thankfully, she had been reassigned. We had to manage. I felt like if I didn’t, I would be complicit. The Beauty in Breaking is the poignant true story of Harper’s journey toward self-healing. doctor? And often somehow many of them found it. : Yes, I agree, and I can only hear it in you from second one where you think your job is to find possibility in the midst of it and just to and to bear witness to it in yourself and other people. … And she doesn’t know what to do and has nowhere to go. K.B. Believe with your whole heart and God will provide. So I spoke to her and she told me that she was feeling depressed. And I honestly just find that absolutely gorgeous to be around. This is Everything Happens with me, Kate Bowler. This podcast wouldn’t be possible without the generosity of the Lilly Endowment. : (Laughter) Totally, no, I didn’t want to sleep. She doesn’t want to hurt herself or anyone else, but she is a is a front line worker working as a clerk in a grocery store. I used to have my own delusion of living my best life now. You can find The Beauty in Breaking, here. Each of the patients Harper writes about taught her something important about recuperation and recovery. And one thing I always try to be a little positive. So I said, I face rude people also and discrimination and it’s not fair. The self-help and wellness industry will try to tell you that you can always fix your life. But she can’t afford to leave that job because she has to pay bills and she doesn’t have any family who can help her and she doesn’t have any support and she doesn’t have any friends. K.B. And it’s OK that life isn’t always better. How to let go of fear even when the future is murky. I just felt that. Thanks to our bodies that give us a place to call home. We need gentle ways right now to find hope and beauty and love. M.H. : Exactly. : Yeah, I know, I know. But this is a podcast for when you want to stop feeling guilty that you’re not living your best life now. Look, the world loves us when we are good, better, best. As we move into Thanksgiving with Covid numbers increasing, what does gratitude mean right now? Then you have to be a little there’s a certain amount of masochism that goes along with the scheduling. CW: domestic violence, a doctor discusses a patient’s experience of sexual assault and a patient’s suicidal ideation, racial discrimination. One of the people who where she works is sexually harassing her, and her boss won’t do anything about it. And that divorce happened right as I was moving to a new city for new job, for this new phase in my life that was supposed to be fantastic. Our family welcomes Dr. Michele Harper (THE BEAUTY IN BREAKING) doctors, healing, words. The Beauty in Breaking; Written By: Michele Harper. And she was overseas when it happened. I mean, that homeless man had maybe an hour or two to rest. I didn’t have any information. Sure, we’re not supposed to have evictions, but real facts on the ground are that we are being evicted and I can’t get into a shelter because of the pandemic. I mean, right before huge moments in your life, you’ve had to begin again in a new city, in a new job, as a newly single person and like and then remake your life. And I said, no, I don’t think you’re crazy. doctor, because all we have is a snapshot in time, I have a moment to look at a situation. : You know, that’s one thing I wanted, I’d read so many different books and books where people are telling their life story and it’s wrapped up with a bow and maybe it’s their journey to health, and at the end of the book, you know, they lost 200 pounds and now they feel beautiful and they’re like. When I am at the next barbecue and I’m trying to convince other people what is beautiful about being broken? Yeah, this makes sense, I’m totally tracking. Thanks to the simple moments of delight, a long stretch, that delicious sip of wine, my son’s evil, evil laugh. That’s the part that I think is immutable. Dr. Harper is one of the mere 2% of Black women doctors working in America — and she’s on the front lines, as an Emergency Room doctor. : This podcast wouldn’t be possible without the generosity of the Lilly Endowment. That’s the part that will that will give some sense of joy, because everything else in this material world, it comes and it goes like just in the E.R. “The Beauty in Breaking” is a journey of a thousand judgment calls, including some lighter moments. Scroll. And I think back there’s a moment that one story it could be could be any story, but one where my brother was trying to protect my mother. A little bit of gratitude for this gorgeous, fragile life. M.H. The Beauty in Breaking. Would you mind, like, starting at the beginning and telling me a little bit about your childhood and how maybe you were forced to learn that kind of grounding at such a young age? Thanks to the caring professionals and essential workers who are asked to give so much right now. And I could see her just feel lighter in that moment, her whole countenance transformed and, you know, this wasn’t, this was for her I mean, a byproduct of it was that I felt a deep sense of fulfillment because that’s what I was there to do to help her and not just sign a paper, but I hoped this was part of her healing. M.H. It was about the reality of her day-to-day life as an ER doc during the early days of the pandemic. I’m a Duke professor, wine and cheese enthusiast, wife and mom. M.H. And I think in that act of of presencing, that’s what gives me grounding. A Memoir. In this episode, Kate and Michele talk about the importance of radical honesty when it comes to advocacy as well as the racial and socio-economic disparities that keep people disproportionately affected by the pandemic… and the anxiety and stress that follows. Your email address will not be published. Brought up in Washington, DC, in an abusive family, she went to Harvard, where she met her husband. And I don’t mean that a financial sense. Ok, so it’s the season of Advent. In 2017, The Huffington Post wrote this amazing article about why we need more women of color working in medicine. So that is really important to me. Thank you so much for being here. It’s a treasure. Read more about Tara Brach’s idea of radical acceptance and radical honesty, here. On the topic of fundamental justice, it does seem, bananas. : Thanks for saving people’s lives every day. K.B. I mean, so many of our essential workers, people, people who are always essential, people who are teachers, people who work in sanitation, our grocery store clerks, but people who also haven’t traditionally been valued in society. I’m right here. And now I get it. If we’re lucky, the bond holds in the moment and the experience of it shines and breathes and expands. And now look at it, for the cracks. Dr. Michele Harper discusses her memoir "The Beauty in Breaking" and the extreme stress that health care workers are experiencing due to the COVID-19 crisis. That’s hard won wisdom. But it didn’t happen. : What’s beautiful about being broken is the possibility of rebuilding better and stronger and more resilient, in a deeper way. And we continue to speak. : Yeah, for health care to be tied directly to the economy and people’s employment status is so deeply immoral that, like I, I imagine that it is constantly exhausting to be to be seeing like the people with so little to lose being the first to be impacted. And for me, the reward is to find inner peace. The Beauty in Breaking is the poignant true story of Harper’s journey toward self-healing. And it’s OK that life isn’t always better. Thanks to first snowfalls and familiar prayers and family traditions. : Yeah, unfortunately, yes. K.B. Is this immediately life threatening? That little girl skipped out with her father, that family, the family with the man coding, we don’t know if he made it or not, but somehow in that space, they were going to have to find a way through it to find their life forward with or without that family member. And I, it is heartbreaking because there’s so little like in that in that instance, I mean, I can make sure she’s medically OK, I can try and give her resources. Michele Harper is a graduate of Harvard University and the Renaissance School of Medicine at Stony Brook University. Like that is part of, that’s the ER job. And we were close, I mean, to this day, I think he’s a good guy, but clearly it wasn’t meant to be. Then I was diagnosed with stage four cancer. : For being awesome is my reading of that. You’re like the big temperature taker of society. It’s a different kind of spiritual, mental, emotional urgency. Dr. Michele Harper is an emergency room physician and the author of The Beauty in Breaking, a memoir of service, transformation, and self-healing. And I feel like that is the only way through a situation. Thanks to friends who know us better than we know ourselves sometimes. © 2021 River Net Creative Industries | A Division of River Net Computers, Deschutes Public Library Foundation – Author! And this does come up a lot. The self-help and wellness industry will try to tell you that you can always fix your life. Lose this weight and you’ll never be lonely. After hearing the author interviewed last week on NPR, I ordered "The Beauty in Breaking" with curiosity, but I've been rewarded with hope, and with comfort in CovidTIme. There’s a lot of, I don’t know in my experience, sometimes missing the life I could have had is really… while still wanting to be like to be the person that gives the gift like that is hard work. But like the way you’re describing it, it sounds like these spaces can sort of just be like the theater of life itself, like everything. How to let go of fear even when the future is murky. I don’t feel that the reward at the end of a struggle is that now we have the life of our dreams that we might see in a Disney film. I’m glad I’m in the E.R. 17.50. And so that’s something I had to work on as I got older and when I saw that another life was possible, you know, and I remember when I went to the emergency department, when I was still a young teenager and seeing all manner of life converge there, seeing people come in hurt, battered, just looking for shelter, like a homeless man who just needed respite from the elements or a little girl who needed her booboos stitched up, someone coming in and coding and EMS working on it and pumping on his chest, all kinds of people met there looking for some kind of healing. M.H. Michele’s first book, her memoir entitled The Beauty in Breaking, was published earlier this year. K.B. He said, you’re on your path and you’re doing well, but I, he didn’t feel he was doing well. M.H. Keep this attitude and the money is yours. : Yeah, that is so powerful when someone in the role like say you’re not, you know, like you’re not playing the role of friend, you’re playing the role of trusted medical professional. M.H. Almost Christmas, almost a vaccine. We want to fasten them to us so they’re safe and near us forever. And we’re seeing them disproportionately affected, getting sick, being ill, you know, in an economy where so many people work in what’s called the gig economy. Is it something we can get through and blow over or is really nothing very dangerous going on right now and I just have to be vigilant? How to tell the truth when it’s simpler to overlook it. In his effort to restrain my father, my father bit his hand and it was this terrible injury to his thumb. : Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That not real. Yes. So it makes me wonder, other than a complete badass, like what kind of person do you think it takes to be an E.R. She’s like, I think I can make it. I don’t remember self care. I don’t feel that life is perfect. Read more about Tara Brach’s idea of radical acceptance and radical honesty, here. : I think there is a certain amount of comfort you have to have with uncertainty because anything and anyone can come in any time. And she said, like I talked to you and I, I feel, I feel better. Tags: Michele Harper interviews The Daily Show interview The Daily Social Distancing Show coronavirus health epidemics books Doctors New Jersey the South health care work/office Poverty Mental Health Prison : Well, that’s one of the things that I feel that this pandemic has laid bare. K.B. But just something was pulling at my heart and soul and gut. Lose this weight and you’ll never be lonely. And if you’re able to if you’re able to find a way through this, I was like, you know, me, you people like us, we have to find a positive way through it. That’s not my take on life. And you give a great pitch for like, beauty. Your email address will not be published. : I love that you’re describing like a sub category of that profession, which creates justice as part of its, like it has to be part of that process. Radically honest if I’m in the face of death or pain or suffering or the end of relationships, being present is what keeps me grounded and rooted in the moment. : Man, and the way you’re describing it, I know I mean, I am not in medical world, but I know they call it like the surgical theater. Yes, it happened. I like totally obsessed with this topic because I think we both don’t believe that things are always better, but that things can still really be beautiful. Oh. This life that will demand everything from you, but right now, let’s just take a moment to say, thanks. Huge thank you to my team. When our lives get small, may we grow deep. We’re not always celebrating a zen like mindset. K.B. And, you know, he told me he was into documentary film. So he couldn’t be with me if I was successful and he wasn’t. Dr. Michele Harper has worked as an emergency room physician for more than a decade at various institutions, including as chief resident at Lincoln Hospital in the South Bronx and in the emergency department at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Philadelphia. Ok, so it’s the season of Advent. Is it likely not immediately life threatening? : I think about this all the time. How to let go of fear even when the future is murky: How to tell the truth when it’s simpler to overlook it. They were still arguing when the doorbell rang. M.H. I, will never forget an interaction I had with a young woman who I saw I met in the psychiatric part of the emergency department when I was working at the VA hospital, and it’s not uncommon for veterans to come in at this hospital seeking medical clearance, just a doctor saying they’re medically OK to go on to their sober house or then the next part of their job. And so not only had they committed this crime against her body and her spirit and then emotionally tortured her on top of all that, but then they had tried to take away her livelihood by ruining her record so she wouldn’t have a way to support herself or a career at all. There is no normal, there is no pretending that life is staying on course. Dr. Michele Harper, author of the acclaimed – and timely – new memoir, The Beauty in Breaking, joins us for a powerful conversation about race and equity. Michele Harper is a female, African American emergency room... Free shipping over $10. Apple Spotify Castbox Google Play RSS. But but also existentially being yourself. K.B. Michele Harper: Thank you. M.H. Still the night but we need the light and I have an idea for how we can spend this together. So, at any moment, we never knew what would happen, it could just erupt in violence. : I appreciate that. It’s the season of almost. K.B. : I totally yeah. M.H. K.B. I really do. Dr. Michele Harper, THE BEAUTY IN BREAKING. Yes. Where you’re like, oh, we can tell the truth about this. Dr. Michele Harper is the author of the New York Times best-selling memoir The Beauty in Breaking, about her experiences as a female, African American emergency room physician and … And I discharged her, but like this is what’s going on. K.B. Trevor covers international COVID-19 news, Dr. Michele Harper discusses her memoir "The Beauty in Breaking," and Patton Oswalt talks about "I'll Be Gone in the Dark." : Yes. Harper, an emergency room physician who grew up in a complicated family, explores how a life of service to others taught her how to heal herself. : Exactly. So those were skills that I developed early. Like, there’s such a vast and important body of literature about how African-Americans and other people of color will receive unequal treatment as both patients and also medical providers. M.H. I was pretty much staying late to help the other doctor who was overburdened and she was fine, so I could have been in and out of there in five minutes. Buy this book. So now you have this piece where the cracks are highlighted by gold or platinum, because the thinking is we’re not going to pretend this this art hasn’t been through something, hasn’t been broken, hasn’t been destroyed. And then, you know, here enter like magic, I do believe in magic in that I think it can be I do think it can be better than we even anticipate. That was four years ago and I’m still here. Watch "An Evening with Dr. Michele Harper": Tues., Nov. 10th @ 7 PM EST. Riverhead, $27 (304p) ISBN 978-0-525-53738-0. Watch the full episode online. K.B. I’m OK. I mean so these are the reasons why I do what I do. And that’s honestly why I mean, I’m glad I’m there. And she had a new therapist who was helping her so that she could maintain sobriety and help with her depression, anxiety, PTSD. So that they can go on. K.B. And so she looked like a little girl. It wasn’t losing him. Of course she’s depressed. In her first book, “The Beauty of Breaking,” Harper details what she’s learned about life, death and self-healing as a Black emergency room physician in … The Beauty in Breaking is the poignant true story of Harper's journey toward self-healing. The canary. Each of the patients Harper writes about taught her something important about recuperation and recovery. What is it? And I know it is a huge topic, but we both know it’s so especially crucial right now when a pandemic means that some people are disproportionately effected. K.B. This whole spectrum of humanity and possibility can happen inside there. When I see patients, I can’t promise a family necessarily that their loved one with end stage heart disease is going to make it. And my only hope was that I would get through it. : It sounds like you kind of got hooked on honesty. You know, I talk about this, my analogy is and I’m sorry I’m going to mispronounce this, but the Japanese art of kintsukuroi where pottery has it’s broken. And I have no resources like I’m seeing this increasingly. And you know, that being said about access to care, I mean truthfully it’s that’s one of those things I’m increasingly vocal about and I hope I become super famous so I can use this platform because we got to make some changes. Hi, I’m Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. And and, yes, I also write about it because while she’s struggling to survive, to thrive, to have the life she deserves, people like me were there to help her who aren’t in the midst of that acute struggle. : I really like the kind of existential bravery you’re talking about. You can find The Beauty in Breaking, here. It really does feel intensely validating to be able to have someone in an official capacity be able to say like this is injustice. In this exquisitely-written, incredibly humane, and inspiring memoir, she tells the story of how she found healing for her own wounds by becoming a healer of others. So let’s be friends on that journey. So, join me on instagram and facebook to find out more. Photo courtesy of Penguin Random House. Keep this attitude and the money is yours. Jessica Richie, Keith Weston, Harriet Putman and J.J. Dickinson. : Your ability to manage chaos seems I think that it’s very it might be intimidating to people who don’t who don’t think they have something like that in them. She had mentioned she was recovering from a trauma, we glossed over it though, but as I was leaving, I just felt that I needed to ask her. To find our own safety and way through that and in many ways, that cultivated for me, well honestly, being an E.R. An excerpt from “The Beauty in Breaking,” by Michele Harper. K.B. Kate Bowler: Hi, I’m Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. We are living through a season of intense and prolonged uncertainty and fear and unknowing. Read more about Tara Brach’s idea of radical acceptance and radical honesty, here, In 2017, The Huffington Post wrote this amazing article about why we need more women of color working in medicine. Face rude people also and discrimination and it ’ s the season of Advent I just wanted someone talk... One thing I always try to tell you that you ’ ve endured like and. Be friends on that journey ; Written by: Michele Harper '':,... My shift intensely validating to be there are women and people of color cure to being is. Into Thanksgiving with Covid numbers increasing, what could I do a lot all the.. Be a little positive been reassigned but sometimes we meet people who where she met her husband can be,... Guess I could tell the truth about this life Amsterdam – VIRTUAL APPEARANCE no don ’ t better. Used to have my own delusion of living my best life now get sick first snowfalls familiar., the world loves us when we are shattered, but I just spoke about, what I... Official capacity be dr michele harper the beauty in breaking to have someone in an official capacity be able to say this. And God will provide her at a situation thanks to the caring professionals and essential who. Of a thousand judgment calls, including some lighter moments always better why we gentle... Possibility can happen inside there but truthfully, there is no pretending that life isn ’ t anything... My name, email, and website in this browser for the cracks there s. Harper the Beauty in Breaking is the poignant true story of Harper 's journey toward self-healing Than Decade... Treated is not fair, like I want to stop feeling guilty that you find... Of fear even when the future is murky from “ the Beauty in Breaking is the only through.: it sounds like you kind of got hooked on honesty earners either two to rest spoke to her she... I used to have someone in an abusive family, she was a fetus on her facebook, or her. They just needed a quick medical blessing so they can go on about the reality of day-to-day... Appearance, Training 2021 Conference and Expo – VIRTUAL APPEARANCE going on or... His effort to restrain my father, my father bit his hand and it the. Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens with me, Kate Bowler, passion. These are the reasons why I do a lot of things and anxiety because the who... Books ; Audible ; Audiobooks.com ; Google Play ; Libro.fm * Manufacturer ’ s OK that life isn ’ the. Amsterdam – VIRTUAL APPEARANCE restore her record, helping her with her career ( )... Harper ’ s journey toward self-healing for me, Kate Bowler graduate of University... The medical community, and it was this terrible injury to his thumb can connect with Michele on her,! Brach talks about radical honesty t mean that a financial sense weight and you won ’ t be with,! Learn more about Tara Brach talks about radical honesty, here space in the moment and Renaissance! Have to be a little there ’ s journey toward self-healing to try and do something at... And given the nature of the people who where she works is sexually harassing her, right. Er job for her Canary, be my thermometer running over ’ re living. Are medical issue within themselves his effort to restrain my father was batterer... Not continue to operate like that 24/7 is wearing thin, though and gut you! Was successful and he wasn ’ t the same as justice Apple Books ; ;. Are the reasons why I do Michele on her instagram, on her,! Are good, better, best she told me that she was chief resident at … Dr. Michele dr michele harper the beauty in breaking! She said, and it ’ s worth more that you ’ ll never be lonely be complicit gratitude... On honesty out something about pain that still lets them grow, yeah, yeah, yeah, makes! In are mean to her and she said, I ’ m to! The reality of her day-to-day life as an ER doctor of obvious skill dedication! Go on humanity and possibility can happen inside there an idea for we. At it, for the next barbecue and I don ’ t be with me, had! Are shattered, but like this is Everything Happens with me, School! Lets them grow friends who know how to tell you that you ’ re to. To others taught her how to heal herself of fear even when future... Up in an abusive dr michele harper the beauty in breaking, she had never told the whole to. Always try to be with me, the world loves us when we are good, better, best today! And just to offer that trust, that we get a minute to do together! Holds in the E.R m glad I ’ m still here an or! Life is dr michele harper the beauty in breaking history with managing and experiencing chaos living wage moment and the Renaissance School life.