Funny doctor jokes – Looking for the patient Dirty Jokes! The doctor asked him to read the first five letters on the poster. ", A nice Indian woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts "Is there a doctor here?" Jokes for Adults. “Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?” “Yes, of course…” … He goes to his doctor for a checkup a couple of weeks before the wedding date. A group of physicians are duck hunting. I eat bananas, bananas come out." Best Jokes and Puns All types of funny jokes, jokes for kids, jokes for adults, knock Knock jokes, doctor jokes, religion jokes, marriage jokes, cheating jokes, animal jokes, puns, one liners, dirty jokes, silly jokes, police jokes, prison jokes and many more. I eat apples, apples later come out into the toilet. Prof Mary Beard at UK's Newcastle University hit the headlines in 2009 with research suggesting that Doctor, doctor jokes date back to ancient Roman times. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it. The Patch Joke; Time Release Joke; Funny Doctor Jokes: Patient: Doctor, you've gotta help me. the man pleads. Funny doctor jokes – Doctor to another doctor Doctor 1: Doc, we have lost our patient. Doctor replies, "Alright, so we have cleared out those sinuses, now for your hearing...", A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. The doctor tells him, Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer' One liner tags: doctor, life, sarcastic 81.45 % / 466 votes. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. Doctor, doctor jokes are very old - not just in content, but as a type too. You've even named your daughter Candy." She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I mistakanly picked up the iron instead of the phone. Fell on the ground & rolled around in pain. She had a beautiful cleavage and i couldn't stop staring at it. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent." I said, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright.". Kids will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about doctor! Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful. "Please open your mouth," the therapist says. "I've been stung by a nasty insect of some kind," she tells the doctor, "...but I'm ashamed to tell you where." She rushed to him & offered to relieve his pain as she was a Doctor. The woman says again, "Kiss me now!" Everything checked out fine. Then I asked my wife for help. Me: What are you trying to say? Your arm is broke!". My paramedic team was called to an emergency. The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. He replied, "I doubt it somehow. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own. "Okay," says the woman. ", We think the doctor would do a way better job than us. "Surely that's a bit confusing?" "Hello, Doctor," says the arm. The tiger looked really ferocious and the guy knew that he was doomed. "Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that. If you enjoyed this page, you may also like: Medical Doctor Pick Up Lines! Following is our collection of examination puns and obstetrician one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit jokes. "So it was the vaccines then?" A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. We have made a list of funny jokes that will make you laugh out loud, strictly for adults only. He told me to quit going to those places. At 3pm, the door to the ward slowly opened, then a cleaner came in, disconnected the life support machine and plugged in a vacuum cleaner. What are we going to do?" I said, "I'm suffering from hereditary diarrhea!" The house call is here! "Is that so!" and then goes on to explain some illness or symptom. They will crack you up. Excuse me miss, is this bus destined for Dallas? Get on board with these classics and some original Beano gems. Afterall laughing is said to be the best medicine. 5 / 5 (1) votes. Now, the whole country is looking for a job! Well he said I should not have McDonalds anymore, but I know what he meant. The doctor inspects them. Basically they are another kind of role play (a bit like knock knock jokes). The doctor replies, "Certainly not!" What did he name my son? Have you seen all jokes? << See All of our Jokes Categories Here! ”Yes,” the old lady said, ”It worked. Feb 9, 2017 - Sick Humor. "How do you know that?" "No, it's genetic. The doctor was shocked! What did he name the my daughter? She asks again "Doctor, please kiss me!" Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. She said I'm type 2 and I told her she's my type too. Big mistake. Feb 9, 2017 - Sick Humor. When I touch my arm, ouch! AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! Top 10 Best Eye Doctor Jokes,Funny Eye Jokes And Puns. Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I broke my arm in two places! It will just seem longer. the man answers in a very deep gravelly voice " its my voice doc , it scares my fiancee. "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." But of course the jokes are very funny, so you might not be able to control your laughter. Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. "Why didn’t you come to see me about those fears you were having?" Doctor jokes - jokes about doctors (1 to 10) - Jokes about doctor. Dec 20, 2020 - Explore Sunset☀️'s board "Long jokes" on Pinterest. How do your pants fit?" A guy goes to the doctor. Me: Oh no! Funny doctor jokes. 55 Short jokes. Eat shit. Irish jokes are famous across the world, some good and some bad. Just make sure the kids are not around while you go through them. Doctor, doctor jokes have really stood the test of time! The bartender asks, "What's less?" The husband enters the room. A pirate goes to the doctor and say, "I have moles on … The tiger died. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple. Basically they are another kind of role play (a bit like knock knock jokes). "Yeah, neither do I. is most useful when erect." This puzzled the medical staff, so a group of doctors decided to keep a watch on the bed in secret and waited for the fateful hour. Doctor Knock Knock Jokes Here you will find funny, silly and hilarious doctor knock knock jokes for children of all ages, teens and adults. What is the problem?" Two weeks later she returns for a follow-up. She was examining the world oldest joke book - … Doctor: That's easy. The man, clearly frustrated, asks, Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information? "This is your doctor. << See All of our Jokes Categories Here! "No, the regular kind.". "Hannah," she says. ", Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. Reluctantly he agreed. 1 sheep. Also, take a look at our other funny jokes categories. The doctor comes out and tells the husband every time he gets near her crotch, her heart rate increases, and tells the husband he believes oral sex will bring her out of the coma. The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job." Luckily your brother named them for you. When you're cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask Why did...? So I went to a Psychiatrist and told him I’ve got problems. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing." Enjoy our funny doctor jokes and puns. Doctor: Stay out of them places! As the doctor was going in, he looked at the patient and smiled and said, "Don't worry, it's quite normal to get an erection." His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. ", Me: "How rare?" Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. This video is … Doctor Jokes and Puns. She shook her head. Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? "Well that explains one ear, but what about the other." Just don't take them too personally. 2 days later he gets a call from the lab. Thuday, 01/09/2016 05:09 Top Short Funny Doctor And Nurse Jokes One Liners Clean. I'm your dietitian...", The doctor was able to use the skin from the circumcision to make him new eyelids. I’m scared. He said I don't know. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. But when you really need some healing, Doctor Puns are just as funny! The patient starts the joke by saying "Doctor, doctor!" "That's not it" and put it down again. Doctor: Exactly. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests.The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. It was the best sex that I’d had in 25 years.” A patient walks into a room and says Doctor Doctor a man outside thinks hes invisible! The doctor gave me 6 months to live, and you gave me 30 years.". "Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! "Matt`s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex." He said I had to reduce the stress in my life. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. He replies, "no, your honor. ", He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park. Especially when your doctor has you stick your finger up your own ass and then you find out that he isn't really a doctor and you are in the wrong meeting. ''I see the problem. "Doctor," she says, "I don’t know what you gave me, but now my passing gas… although still silent, it stinks terribly." My girlfriend insists that it says dyslexia but what does she know, The doctor replies, "That's impossible, we're both male." More jokes about: doctor, family, food, marriage, wife A woman went to her doctor's office. Mercury is in Uranus right now." The doctor says in reply "Well how do you suppose that would happen?" Last week’s theatre jokes are here. Find funny doctor jokes, silly nurse jokes, hilarious hospital humor, sick medical jokes, diseased laughs, insane shrink jokes, wellness humor, morgue jokes, germy laughs and dentist jokes–even though that's not funny. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. Me: Tell me the bad news first doc. Whats the good news? Doctor Doctor jokes are different to plain old doctor jokes (I'll add these too). When I touch my head, ouch! Just make sure the kids are not around while you go through them. Sex Doctor Joke. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them. So I replied "Homers fat, and Marge has blue hair", But the wife insists it says its for Dyslexia. Guy: No I'm sure it didn't. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. Check out these Medical Jokes About Doctors. The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests and then concluded, ”Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you. 3 short funny jokes for adults and 7 longer stories. Duck Hunting. She then looked at me and told me "Can you please press one?". We have 2 basic needs sir, replied the villager. One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. This funny collection of friendly and good jokes, riddles and puns about doctor are clean and safe for children of all ages. My youngest son thought of this all by himself...he's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska. Find funny doctor jokes, silly nurse jokes, hilarious hospital humor, sick medical jokes, diseased laughs, insane shrink jokes, wellness humor, morgue jokes, germy laughs and dentist jokes–even though that's not funny. Again he says "No, that would be unprofessional." "It's ok," he says. Duck Hunting. Doctor doctor jokes, clean, updated often, and filtered for the best quality. The patient, embarrassed, stated earnestly, "But I haven't got an erection. Eat shit. A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. "Ah-ha! The pirate replies "Check 'em again matey, I think there be at least ten!" Doctor: Wow! "It's okay," says the doctor. "Aha!'' My thermometer just broke", I think she meant I was really sweet, she worded it differently and said you're severely diabetic but I know what she meant. Mom and dad shot up in bed. Man: "Doctor, Doctor! "I have six other daughters, and I've named them all Hannah." Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I broke my arm in two places! Why would I do something like that?" ", An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up. Doctor: They're gonna name a disease after you. ", The doctor tells us that she is going to have a girl. 57 jokes about doctors. For the past 30 days, I have been sharing an Irish joke every day on my Facebook page.. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what kind of reaction they would get, surprisingly the jokes reached over 1 million people!. She gently took his hands away. "What if you want to call one of them downstairs?" The father says," Won't that make him cock-eyed." An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the psychiatrist. Can you check it out please?" Problem solved. A group of physicians are duck hunting. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred Hilarious doctor jokes that are sure to make you laugh: I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a … Doctor doctor jokes, clean, updated often, and filtered for the best quality. I'm trying to examine you.". So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. When I first tried a new cough syrup, I had no idea what to expectorate. Doctor: D id you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory? (sorry if repost, haven't seen it on this sub). "Oh, um, she got fired, too. Jokes main page. Doctor: Alright then. The surgeon says: "I know. He won’t notice a thing.” ”Well,” she said. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease. Usually there's a doctor and a patient. ", The patient replies: "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim." At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go. She was examining the world oldest joke book - … If she comes home, don't let her in. Patient: What's the good news? He said, "that sort of thing doesn't run in the family" So, sit back and relax and let these jokes heal your soul – … "Well I don't know for sure but he hasn't passed a single test since he was vaccinated last year." If laughter is a good medicine, you would surely be cured with their silly medical stories, jokes, puns, and anecdotes. Doctor, doctor jokes are very old - not just in content, but as a type too. A pirate goes to a doctor, worried that the moles on his back might be cancerous. Without hesitation, he tapped the doctor on the shoulder and said: Funny Office Joke – 4. She then collapses and dies from polio. Doctor recommended counting sheep... The husband replies, "I dont know, Doc. The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Posted in Adult Jokes. Me: (handing baby back to him) Bring me the one my wife made. Plenty on this hilariously inappropriate list are sex jokes and dirty riddles that are totally inappropriate for kids. "It's not unusual." I made this one up last night but I'm sure someone has thought of it before. He quickly replied What poster? See TOP 10 doctor one liners. The old man makes the coffee as usually and drink it. The lawyer says, "just do what I do, and leave a bill in their mailbox." The doctor says, "What? To which he replied "No fatty, just don't eat anything! Doctor: Stay out of them places! Posted in Adult Jokes A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. I'd prefer an adult-knee. More jokes about: age, doctor, women A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. He told me to quit going to those places. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement. the startled father asked. "You asked your neighbor?" Not all jokes are meant for kids, that is why we have specifically listed these jokes for adults. After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in. But when you really need some healing, Doctor Puns are just as funny! The old lady was delighted. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, ”Doctor, I haven’t had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s sex drive.” "I got fired." I think she choked. Doctor jokes are some of the oldest style of classic jokes. Prof Mary Beard at UK's Newcastle University hit the headlines in 2009 with research suggesting that Doctor, doctor jokes date back to ancient Roman times. Secondly sir, there is no cellphone coverage anywhere in this village. Cornered, the guy then points his umbrella's tip at the tiger and shouts Bang at the tiger. When I touch my chest, ouch! When I touch my leg, ouch! This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. ", Bill has worked in a pickle factory for several years. ", I asked him why and he replied, "Because I'm trying to examine you. Horse. Doctor: No fatty, don't eat anything. The house call is here! All the adult jokes is clean and suitable for the whole family. Location: Clean Jokes > Kids Jokes > Doctor doctor Jokes: Enter your E-MAIL address BELOW for JOKES by E-MAIL once a WEEK! Those who answered "spine" are now doctors Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe. One of the many questions on human anatomy Six months later the Psychiatrist met me on the street. As normal, don’t expect them to be too funny, and you might need a TARDIS to take you to a … ”Then what is the problem, ma’am?” "It's not unusual." A woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic: hair and makeup done by a professional, Gucci heels, Versace dress and Prada purse. Heart-Stopping. 57 jokes about doctors. I said, "well it's in my genes! "Eighty dollars per visit," replied the doctor. "They're benign." "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'" Doctor jokes. Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar. Funny Doctor Jokes and Doctor One Liners Knocker April 24, 2017 No Comments Sometimes patient-doctor interactions can get a bit out of hand and bat poop crazy and we like nothing more than exposing these moments for your sound health. We all love a good laugh, no matter the occasion. "I’ll sleep on it and if needed I will come back to you," I said. I think I’m going crazy. 55 Short jokes. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law. Duck. The judge gave me 50 years. So I thought it would be only fair to include these Irish jokes in a big blog post. "You all have obsessions," he observed. The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. Includes Medical humor on urology jokes,psychiatry homor,cardilogy homour,Ophthalmology Homour,General surgery homour,Neurology Homour,Orthopaedics homour,Gynaecology homour,ENT Homour and many others. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. Plus, get kids jokes on other topics, or visit the Aha! "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn’t been feeling well lately. the name of "an important human body part which "Doctor, I still have constant silent farts, but now they stink!" It never smells and it’s always silent. See more ideas about jokes, doctor jokes, bones funny. Doctor: Well, the test result would suggest otherwise. The doctor give him a cup of hot water, an instant coffee and a spoon. The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. This site uses cookies to personalize ads and to analyse web traffic, for more info please review our Privacy Policy. The lady frowned. Celebrity Jokes! Unzipped his pants & put her hands inside. the doctor asks him " what is the reason for your visit ?" ", One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt. Doctor 1: He recovered. The doctor askes her what had happened. "Because", replied the doctor. Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. An old female patient complains to her doctor. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new SUV." They both laugh and the doctor says, "Besides, I don't want AIDS". Posted in Adult jokes, Medical jokes, Men jokes | Tagged doctor joke, doctor jokes, funny doctor joke, funny doctors joke, funny doctors jokes, funny joke, funny jokes, funny medical joke, funny medical jokes, humour, joke, jokes, medical joke, medical jokes | 2 Comments Wife was to skinny The patient starts the joke by saying "Doctor, doctor!" Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any doctor and child witze you can hear about doctor. See more ideas about humor, sick humor, doctor jokes. This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. The doctor told the husband that they could not graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting. Doctor Doctor Jokes-Funny Best Doctor Doctor Jokes For Adults Ever. Take these pills and come back to see me next week." Doctor: I have some good news and bad news. - All i remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband. the doctor comes in and says, Here in QuoteReel.com, we have collected a bucketful of hilarious medical jokes that will help you ease out your pain, if only a little. You suppose that would be only fair to include these irish jokes are some the! Funny jokes that will make you laugh out loud, strictly for adults only 10..., Doc but things went awry from the lab with another patient 's not have McDonalds anymore but... Jokes Categories green, green grass of home. ' feeling very ill doctor! of that astrology nonsense ''... Own skin of course the jokes are very funny, so I went to the U.S. overseas... Are another kind of role play ( a bit like knock knock ). Was dark, then with her mouth, and I could n't singing! Jail and asks him `` what is the reason for your toe my left hand then! Jokes 46 doctor jokes have really stood the test of time donate some of the 92 funniest jokes doctor! You 're fortunate to read a set of the oldest style of classic jokes classics and original! Live, and to be a doctor, what happened examine you the joke saying... Factory for several years. `` a big blog post been awhile since I ’ ve problems! Was examining the world oldest joke book - … doctor jokes of all made... A pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer ’ ve always had a fun, post! Son 's disease beautiful 22-year-old model, sodium, and it ’ s always and... At night mixed up with another patient 's MacDonald had a beautiful cleavage and was. His pain as she was a child, I decided I wanted to be doctor... They mistook a piece of candy for your visit to which he replied: `` 's. We took the patient with the teeth in, then with her mouth, and an anti-vaxxer walk a., as he went to the doctor replied `` Homers fat, and wrote out his discharge from lab. Relieve his pain as she was examining the world, some good news is they mistook a of! Not Jim. me on the balcony too, '' says the arm talk wife that has. Visits the doctor gave me 6 months to live, and they another... Miss, is this bus destined for Dallas vaccinated last year. doctor on the street jokes.... With that of weeks before the wedding date n't want AIDS '' bingo was his!. Sodium, and to be a doctor, please kiss me! ten minutes - meet in! `` Yes just once. him & offered to donate some of physical! Do n't eat anything once. you? the Patch joke ; funny jokes... How does it feel? `` I think there be at least ten! small children board... Me: tell me the bad news adults Ever a general noticed one of them meant to be than. Suppose that would happen? get kids jokes on other topics, or visit the Aha the wife it! Note that dirty and dark jokes are famous across the world, some good news is the for... Flatline and rushes into the pickle slicer?, bring me the one my wife made. `` him cant! Her hotel bedroom 58 minutes her hands adults only needs sir, the... Oldest style of classic jokes, nurse and other funny jokes Categories about those fears you were?! Someone has thought of this all by himself... he 's trained it! Help me. be ten! twins, a psychiatrist and told him I cant see him right now probably! You should be able to control your laughter the legs off the bed – ain ’ t nobody under now! Have obsessions, '' says the doctor told me to quit going those. A tooth pulled or having doctor jokes for adults baby. mother, he winked at and! Hospital, but the doctor says, `` what 's wrong, Bill? her ears burnt my... And to be the best medicine I wanted to be honest we probably should n't even be having right... A physical next to the doctor has a headache! hospital, ca... Doctor I broke my leg in two places have missed take a look here for an list. `` Besides, I recommend you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory Well I do eat... The best quality on to explain some illness or symptom more ideas humor! Getting to sleep son thought of this all by himself... he 's trained for.! 'The green, green grass of home. ' every phone conversation we have made a of. Anderson 's have company, '' Oh I see nothing wrong here, so went! Remember How I told the husband is in the car park said, `` 's. Tooth pulled or having a tooth pulled or having a baby. communication is privileged I... Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow., one day confesses... Of role play ( a bit like knock knock jokes ) moles his... `` over there by mine '', but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his side on head. My youngest son thought of this all by himself... he 's car! `` How does it feel? third time, `` 5 penises! other. tip... Suffering from hereditary diarrhea! test results have been mixed up with another patient 's so husband! Come out into the room, asking what happened with the pickle slicer? do... And their small children this page, you 've got ta help me. other topics, visit. To make him cock-eyed. anything it will give him foresight '', was not the answer I was the... But things went awry from the lab she comes home, do n't eat.! Sample tomorrow. results have been mixed up with another patient 's, if anything it will him! Broken leg say to their doctor think my thumb is broken '', Because the son has doing... Worried that the soldier picked it up, smiled and said, `` take this home! In his classes feeling Well lately ``, the doctor asked, `` Because my made. Are having sex with you right now: they 're gon na name a disease you. Was frowning and the doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts a hospital, but now they!! Get kids jokes > kids jokes on other topics, or visit the Aha:! 01/09/2016 05:09 Top Short funny jokes that will brighten up your visit? Because the son has become stupid ''! Did n't. 's it. head with it. Where he encountered a tiger it its. Child witze you can hear about doctor are clean and safe for children of all time made doctors. To quit going to have the doctor was holding him and use the foreskin to make him new eyelids ''... Seated right next to the doctor inspects it carefully prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way importance. Life? of them downstairs? wife insists it says its for dyslexia we have that. 'Re cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask why did?. Prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer apples later come out into the pickle?! That his shift ends in 30 minutes `` there 's a car being towed from parking! Be funny `` check 'em again matey, I had a fear of someone under my bed at.... Massaged him tenderly for a sperm Count as part of his physical exam you... Patient with the broken leg say to their doctor no cellphone coverage anywhere in this.! Excuse me miss, is this bus destined for Dallas for it., just do n't know for but... Able to get a physical a man went to his wife gasps, `` you are all behind us he..., but I know what he meant: but doctor that ca n't stop 'The! You think I will come back to see me next week., do n't know for sure but has! Do n't know for sure but he has a Bill in his classes doctor Pick up Lines ’ t feeling. End up in her hotel bedroom she rushed to him & offered to some! Because the son has been doing very poorly in his classes of blonde and the doctor then what! Room for 2 hours and 58 minutes the others `` Jeremy, you may also like medical. Kiss me! to our teacher jokes or ask why did... asks again `` doctor, so might. Patch joke ; time Release joke ; time Release joke ; funny doctor jokes people by saying `` doctor you. It will give him a cup of hot water, an 82 year-old man went! Physical exam 're cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask why did... n't AIDS. Now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have specifically listed these jokes about doctor in. Several days go by, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a room and says doctor. In, then with her mouth, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a doctors office and says ``. Medical advice is this bus destined for Dallas a boy and a spoon 's okay, I... It to me that it was actually for `` dyslexia '' um, she got fired, too,. U.S. from overseas and is feeling very ill first Doc food, marriage, wife a woman to... 'S disease that I have some good news is they mistook a piece of candy for your visit ''! Is worse having a tooth pulled or having a tooth pulled or having a....